Roller Coaster Johnson From Wisconsin

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin
Jose Maria Cuellar via Compfight

This is a children’s story I wrote about how not everybody likes roller coasters. I know this is true, because I do not like them.

I hope you enjoy it, and if you read it to your kids let me know what they think!

 

Roller Coaster Johnson From Wisconsin

 

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin rode his first roller coaster when he was 8 years old.

“It’s going to be so much fun!” everybody at the Super Loud Fun Park said.

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The roller coaster went up, up, up, and at the top of the first hill Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin could see very far.

He could even see his house and the big tree in his backyard.

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Then the roller coaster went down, down, down.

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Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin was scared.

The roller coaster went very, very fast and turned sharp corners and went upside-down and even backwards.

Everybody on the roller coaster yelled, “Isn’t this fun?”

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Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin thought, “I’m supposed to be having fun, but I’m scared and I don’t feel very good.”

Then Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin barfed all over himself.

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He barfed on the roller coaster seat and the the roller coaster track and a bluebird flying past the roller coaster.

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Everybody on the roller coaster thought that was pretty gross.

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin was very embarrassed.

He ran to the bathroom to wash.

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When Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin came out of the bathroom he saw a table with a girl standing behind it, and above her was a huge sign.

The sign said: ROLLER COASTER TRAINING – $5.00

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Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin only had six dollars, and that was supposed to be for his lunch.

When Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin thought about lunch, his belly turned sharp corners and went upside-down and even backwards.

After the roller coaster, Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin wasn’t hungry at all.

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So Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin walked over to the sign and put his five dollars on the table for ROLLER COASTER TRAINING.

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The girl said, “Why do you want roller coaster training?”

“Because I’m supposed to have fun on roller coasters, and I didn’t have any fun at all,” Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin said.

The girl nodded. “My name is Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach. You just passed the first test. Follow me, your roller coaster training has begun.”

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Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin and Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach went to a playground inside the Super Loud Fun Park.

Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach said, “Everything you need for roller coaster training is right here.”

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin looked at the jungle gym and slide and climbing wall and didn’t think any of it looked like a roller coaster.

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Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach pointed at the merry-go-round. “Go sit on that.”

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin thought, Uh-oh.

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But Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin sat on the merry-go-round and Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach spun it faster and faster and faster.

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin went around and around and around.

“Isn’t this fun?” Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach said.

“I’m going to barf,” Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin said.

And then he did.

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He spun around and around and barfed on everything around the merry-go-round.

He barfed on the bluebird again, who had landed next to a mud puddle to take a bath.

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Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin was very dizzy from the merry-go-round and walked in circles to the bathroom to wash up again.

“Roller coaster training is hard,” he told the mirror. “But I’m supposed to have fun on roller coasters, so back to the training!”

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Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach waited for him at the swing set. “It’s time for part two of your roller coaster training. Get in this swing.”

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin thought, Uh-oh.

But he got in the swing and Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach pushed him higher and higher, faster and faster.

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“Now close your eyes,” Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach said.

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin closed his eyes.

Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach made the swing spin back and forth, higher and higher, faster and faster.

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“Isn’t this fun?” she said.

“I’m going to barf,” Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin said.

And then he did.

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He swung back and forth and barfed on everything in front of and behind the swing set.

He barfed on the bluebird a third time, who thought he was safe on top of the swing set.

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Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach stopped the swing. “How much barf is left in your stomach?”

“I don’t know,” Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin said. “I thought it was all gone after the roller coaster.”

Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach nodded. “Go wash up. Your roller coaster training is almost complete.”

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Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin washed up and returned to the playground.

Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach waited for him at the teeter-totter. “Sit on that end.”

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin thought, Uh-oh.

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But he sat on the teeter-totter and Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach lifted him high into the air and let him drop.

Down, down, down, then she made the teeter-totter STOP before it hit the ground.

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Up, up, up.

Down, down, down STOP!

Up, up, up.

Down, down, down STOP!

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“Isn’t this fun?” Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach said.

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin said, “I’m going to barf.”

And then he did.

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He barfed on the teeter-totter and his shoes and a bench.

He barfed on the bluebird, who sat under the bench so no one would barf on him again.

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Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach said, “Your roller coaster training is complete. Go wash up, then we’ll ride the roller coaster and have so much fun.”

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Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin washed up and went to the roller coaster.

It seemed even taller and faster and louder than before, but he was trained for roller coasters, and he was going to have fun.

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Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach pointed to a seat on the roller coaster. “Sit there.”

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin thought, Uh-oh.

But he sat on the roller coaster and Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach sat next to him.

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The roller coaster started.

It went up, up, up.

At the top of the first hill Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin could see his house and the big tree in his backyard.

He told himself, “I’m having fun. I’m having fun.”

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Then the roller coaster went down, down, down.

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Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin was terrified.

The roller coaster went way too fast and turned super sharp corners and looped upside-down and even went the wrong way.

Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach yelled, “Isn’t this fun?”

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Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin said, “No, it isn’t any fun at all! I’m scared and my stomach hurts!”

Then Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin realized Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach was scared too.

Right before she barfed all over him.

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She barfed on Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin and the roller coaster seats and the roller coaster tracks.

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Then Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin barfed on Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach and the roller coaster seats and the roller coaster tracks.

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They both barfed on the bluebird, who had packed his things and was flying away from the Super Loud Fun Park because people kept barfing on him.

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Everybody on the roller coaster thought that was pretty gross.

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin and Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach were very embarrassed.

They ran to the bathroom to wash.

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When they were clean, Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach said, “I have a secret. I don’t like roller coasters either.”

“I kind of figured that out,” Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin said. “Why did you offer roller coaster training if you don’t like roller coasters?”

Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach said, “I thought if I watched you having fun on a roller coaster, maybe I could learn to enjoy roller coasters too.”

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“I don’t think it worked,” Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin said.

“Nope,” Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach said. “I guess we need more roller coaster training.”

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“Oh no you don’t,” the bluebird said. He’d just come from another bath in the mud puddle, and he was tired of getting barfed on.

He said, “Some people just don’t like roller coasters. Some people have more fun reading books and daydreaming and listening to the breeze.”

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Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin said, “I have a lot of fun reading books.”

“I have a lot of fun daydreaming,” Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach said.

They both agreed: Listening to the breeze was downright pleasant.

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The bluebird said, “If you read a book and daydream, will you barf on me?”

Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin and Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach shook their heads.

“Then you should do that,” the bluebird said. “It’s fine if you like roller coasters, and it’s fine if you don’t. If you don’t have any fun on them, don’t ride them.”

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Darcy Roach the Roller Coaster Coach said, “What should we do now?”

“I have an idea,” Roller Coaster Johnson from Wisconsin said.

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So they sat beneath the big tree in Read a Book Johnson from Wisconsin’s backyard.

Read a Book Johnson from Wisconsin read a book about adventures, and Darcy Roach the Daydreaming Coach daydreamed about outer space.

The bluebird sang in the big tree and did not get barfed on, and it was all very, very nice.

THE END

 

Did you enjoy Roller Coaster Johnson From Wisconsin? Let me know in the comments!

6 Comments

  1. “Six times that little Blue bird got barged on…Six times!!!” said my kids. They laughed very hard during this story, super cute! Thanks!

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